Over the next couple months we met a few more times for prenatal appointments at my home. We talked about different types of support during labor, created a birth map, watched a few videos on how to give birth, and ended with postnatal care tips and instructions. We texted and messaged back and forth nearly every week. She would give me updates on her progress after her visits with her OB and I would send her articles and research on anything and everything she had questions about.
On her due date she was scheduled to be induced. She and the adoptive mother went to hospital in the early evening and I joined them after dinner. She received her first round of Cervidil, and then we waited. We waited and slept through the night. Not a whole lot happened. Her mom came to the hospital in the morning once the Cervidil was removed. We walked, bounced on the birth ball, took a shower but, to no avail. She was at 1 cm dilated and 25% effaced after 18 hours. The induction had failed and her body did not want to respond. Instead of waiting for the doctor or trying another drug she decided to just go home and hope she went into labor naturally over the holiday weekend. This, however, did not happen.
One week later she, her mom, and I all went back to the hospital in the late afternoon and started the whole thing over again. She was given 3 rounds of Cytotec followed by one round of Cervidil. Unbeknownst to us the Cervidil had fallen out at hour 6 and she had been laboring on her own for the last 5.5 on her own. Labor progressed quickly after that. Hydrotherapy, walking, squatting, counter-pressure, and the famous double-hip squeeze got her through nearly all of her labor. Then she hit a wall. None of us were expecting it; an hour and a half earlier the nurse had checked and she was 80% effaced but only 3 cm dilated. She squeezed her mom's hand tighter with every contraction asking me to keep pressure on her hips and sacrum throughout. She asked me to go get the nurse so she could have some drugs to help with the pain. I politely inclined and informed the nurse of her wishes. The nurse came in and checked her after giving the Fentanyl. This time she was 100% effaced! Yes, progress! The drug was supposed to work for a few hours...it worked for about 30 minutes. Her moans and deep breathing very quickly became yells of pain. Her tone changed. Mama had decided she had had all she could take and wanted the epidural. The nurse called in the team to do so. I told her it would probably be a good idea to get check because she sounded and was acting like she was already in transition. She agreed; the nurse checked. 9 cm dilated and 100% effaced, baby at -1 station! Mama told me to go wake up the adoptive mom in her room while she was getting the epidural. I sped down the hallways to wake her up. I knocked on the door and opened it. "She's in transition, Baby's coming!" We went back to the room together and waited outside while the anesthesiologist gave her an intrathecal injection instead for the sake of time.
Mama was a bit calmer now, not in quite so much pain. She was checked again. Now she was 10 cm, 100% effaced, baby fully engaged, and the water bag bulging through the cervix. She stayed there for over an hour, relaxing because of her exhaustion. Then she decided she didn't want to wait anymore. The nurse came in and instructed her on how to push. After 3 "practice" pushes, her water exploded everywhere. The birth team got in place, each person doing their role to help Mama and Baby get through. 20 minutes of pushing and he was finally here! At 04:02 am on July 7, 2017 Aspen Grey was born, 7 lbs. 1 oz, 19 inches long. They placed him on his birth mother's chest while his adoptive mama cut the umbilical cord. We all cried. There was so much oxytocin in the room, I even started to lactate. The golden hour had begun and it was beautiful. He nursed right away and did a pretty good job for the first time. He was beautiful and perfect. There was so much love in that room it was overwhelming. In that moment I knew that this is what I was made to do. It was my joy, honor, and privilege to serve this family as their birth and adoption doula.
Aspen Grey is this little boy's name. His birth mama chose his middle name. She told me she did so because, "life isn't always black or white, sometimes it's grey." How true that is. God does not cause pain without allowing something new to be born. He brings beauty from our ashes, our grey ashes.
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