Sometimes Mother's Day Hurts

Long before I had any interest in childbirth or becoming a doula I had an experience that changed my life forever. On May 6, 2011 I was getting ready to go to work. I heard a commotion outside and figured it was my neighbor fighting with his wife again but, this time it wasn't. I opened the door to find a frantic young woman about the same age as me crying hysterically into a phone and a young man standing in their open door way crying. I asked him what was wrong. He told me that his baby niece wasn't waking up. My heart sank and I closed my door. Time seemed to stand still and in the next second it was like the Holy Spirit snapped me out of it and whispered, "You know what to do." I opened my door and asked if I could see the baby. They sent me inside where I saw a young father sitting on a chair rocking his baby girl in his arms with tears streaming how his cheeks pleading with her to wake up. My training kicked into gear. I introduced myself, told him I was certified in infant first aid and CPR and asked if I could help. He put her in my arms and said "Yes, please! Please save her!" I looked at her. She was blue, cold, and stiff. I laid her down and began CPR for the sake of the parents until the paramedics got there a few minutes later, all the while knowing she was already gone. After a few hours the paramedics declared she was DOA.

The funeral was the next week. I found the parents, my neighbors, on Facebook and they invited me to attend so, I did. It was a beautiful service. Her parents saw me sitting in the audience on their way out. The father stopped and hugged me. They thanked me for trying to save her. Jasmyn Rianne was only 6 weeks old when she passed away in her sleep from SIDS. May 6, 2011 was the Friday before Mother's Day.

With the holiday coming around once again this Sunday, I am reminded of Jasmyn and my own journey to motherhood. Mine is one of infertility and the miraculous conceptions of my boys. For others, it is a day that reminds them of their children who are no longer with us. Some went as infants, others as children, and some even before they could be held in their mother's arms. Being a doula is richly rewarding but, sometimes unforeseen circumstances arise and death takes place. It takes a special kind of strength to be the parent of a child in heaven.

I have had many people in my life, neighbors,coworkers, friends, cousins, grandmothers, and even my mother-in-law, who have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss. It was that thought that kept me going as I laid in the ER hospital bed in early March of 2016, not knowing if my baby was still alive or not. Thankfully, my story has not ended as Elias Judah Isaac is now 6 months old. But, there are others who are not as fortunate.

Therefore, I have decided to add to my knowledge and birth skill set by becoming a Birth and Bereavement Doula through Stillbirthday University (stillbirthday.com) once I complete my Birth Doula training course through Childbirth International. This is not an easy skill or profession to be in but, God does not call us to an easy life. In fact, He tells us that "in this world you will have trouble BUT, take heart, for I have overcome the world." James tells us to, "consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trials of many kinds for you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance." When, not if, when. Our job as Christians is to go to the hurting, the poor, the suffering, the weak in spirit and be Jesus to them.

If you feel that this is something you would like to do as well you can visit stillbirthday.com for more information. If you have experienced a loss, this website as well as davidshopeministry.org are wonderful resources available to you and your family. (You can find them on Facebook as well.)